From 20s to 30- Chaturyug

November 10^th: I complete 3 decades of existence in the realm of uncertainty. I say uncertainty because most of our actions in the earlier life are characterized with a reactive approach. Running out of money in month ends, filing of taxes at the very end date, new deadlines at work, new types of deadlines other than exams and assignments, coping with parents getting older and suddenly one fine day stepping out of college and seeing the bare nakedness of the cruel world. We stutter and tremble at the possibility of losing the comfort zone of parents and the perpetual feeling that I am still small. Dad sends the fees of the college on time, Mom takes care of me when I am sick, food is hot and ready when I am home, Granny folds your clothes and has your almirah spick and span. In a nut’s shell, all your energies are focussed at studying or pursuing your education only. Then suddenly you migrate to another place for job or higher education in your 20s and here starts the roller coaster ride.

The traditional way of learning swimming is to throw the person in the pool and expect him to claw his way back. In the process learn the basic art of reacting to the ever-changing sequence of events around you. Water gushing through and entering your nostrils, panic filling in your mind, sub conscious mind expanding your lungs for air and dilating your heart to pump blood, mind blurring and sending random nerve signals to hands and legs to flutter. Somehow we make it back to the coast. Jumping in our 20s is a similar story. Imagine getting a job or going for higher studies when you are 21-22. It’s the first time your stepping out of house. How will the food be? Will I make any friends or Il be lonely? Is it going to be close to my comfort zone of parents where I can escape to? Basically, will I survive? Now sitting at the other end of 20s I feel they are trivial. But on the opposite end, young Tushar was having doubts and uncertainties.

Leaving the house for higher studies or a job

Every yin of uncertainty has a yan of independence. The experience of moving out is an opportunity to get out of your comfort zone and do things the way you feel is good. No pressure of parents or society. The value system of the family always helps but new neurons of experience start defining you as a person. Like every survivor who has learned swimming, he learns the virgin ways of the society unblemished by the polished reality we have in our childhood. We dig deeper for issues, network from bosses to servants, make friendships for life and consciously start building skills for life. We learn to remain afloat to the uncertainties of life and swim towards the personal and professional goals of life.

 The 20s are the time when we understand the importance of planning and pro-activeness. In my opinion it is the decade where you start dictating things for the first time. First job, First salary and then gifts to families and partners, First vacation with own money, first financial investment like mutual fund. The underlying bedrock of financial independence. There is no audit of parents or elders on the spend of the money. You have earned to live your life on your own terms. Now independence has many enemies. The first time you screw some financial investment, over excitement of spending money on consumerist decadence and most importantly the lack of planning. Independence gives us the right to fail. It gives us the cheat from the burden of expectations. We cultivate new hobbies, new passions, new ways of networking, new ways of dealing with problems and mental strength to deal with problems.

Family away from home

Relations evolve in your 20s. Childhood friendships become sparse. The daily conversations with family reduce. You develop unlikely friends in the form of cook, watchman, cleaning lady, laundry person. Roommates and friends become your extended family. I think these are the best relations we make with people outside our families. Share the first half cooked biryani, first visit to police station for lost wallet, first visit to the car showroom for purchasing, first visit to sabji mandi to get vegetables, drives in the middle of the night and go for awesome trips together. Now there is a specific relation which defines the measure of depression/happiness: The boyfriend or girlfriend. Now they are supposed to be emotional pillars for stability or may be instability 😊. Depends on frequency of break ups, fights, affections and companionship experiences. When the agni test of all these happen, it culminates either into marriage or new profile on Shaadi.com. We multiply the depth of our inner self with so many relations in our 20s.

Trip to Pondicherry with DRL friends

Now looking at the latter half of our lives, it is refreshing to remember incidences of the 20s. Laugh at some and Cry at many and smile at a few golden moments. My golden moments were looking at mom’s expression when I gifted her the saree from the first salary, going to Australia and hugging my sister after more than a year, dad supporting me with his words when I was tensed in MBA entrance exams and Granny’s constant pride in every small achievement. Parties at IMT Ghaziabad like there was no tomorrow, making friends for life and sharing some of the most random moments with them, sign of resignation on the morning of a statistics paper after previous night partying, the joy of converting the PPO at Dr. Reddys, running your first marathon and completing it, writing my first ever blog in marketing course, the first brand that I worked on, the crazy birthday party in the flat, the first International trip I had, consoling a friend on the demise of his father, trip to Pondicherry with DRL friends, first switch to another company and many more countless experiences.

Business trip to Australia

I sincerely think that Experiences Maketh a Man/ Woman!! The 20s has been a decade of realising yourself and accepting yourself with the strengths and drawbacks. The decade of 20s: The decade of becoming Chatur.