Pursuit of Happiness/ Stress?

Pursuit of Happiness/ Stress?

“Main aisa kyu hoo? Main aisa kyu hoo?” The song is reverberating in my senses. Its asking questions but also making judgments that you are not complete. The state of happiness lasts for minutes or seconds and its gone within moments of realizing. What stays is a hangover of the hope of becoming happy again. But if you ask me whats wrong in my life and I can come up with an Encyclopedia which puts World Book to shame. If we do a quick analysis of an average humans life span: 70 years- 70x365x24x60x60 seconds, roughly about 2.2bn seconds. I’m sure we will agree that at least 2bn go in worrying about expectations, stressing on things not working and even self-negative talk. We get happiness only when we are born, come first in our classes, win competitions, earn degrees, get well paid jobs, marry our partner, start a family, retire, marry children off and wait for the inevitable.

But have we ever thought of all the negative things we think about- Small, Big, Imaginary, Trivial. Currently: Is this article making sense is worrying me? Am I looking good, Am I good enough, the color is not suiting me, what will my friends think, what will society think, Am I looking too fat, Train is so crowded, When will I grow old to go to college? Why did I grow so fast that college is over? Walk is tiring in the sun, career is not perfect, Can I become Roger Federer? Do I look good? What if I don’t find a partner? Ram/ Tina is better looking than me? What will my boss think if I take a holiday? What will my family think if thy find out I drink? What? Why? When? How? I have just touched the tip of the iceberg of the expectations we have with ourselves and our lives. I’m sure all of us would relate to at least 5-6 questions mentioned on top and fuss about it in our 2bn seconds we have on this earth. The outcome of the problems is immaterial but worrying about it is the top most priority for us. The burden of expectations stress us so much that we look at ourselves also in such negative light adding to the stressometer in our minds.

Very rightly said by Aamir Khan in 3 idiots that engineers have been smart enough to make world class machines but they could not make a machine which could measure the stress of a human mind. Sapiens are inevitably critical of themselves and their surroundings. We forget that so many small positive things that we are surrounded with.

Stressful Railway platforms

 I had the opportunity of witnessing a very small incident on Kurla station. It was 7 p.m. and the entire Kumbh mela of corporate people were on that station. Most of them drowned in music on their phones or in sorrows of everyday hassles. Men sweating in the Mumbai heat and swearing. Women swearing about some serial on TV. Children swearing the education system and the loads of homework. Riri (Siri of the Railways station loudspeakers) swearing on the loudspeaker about a train arriving, going, coming late and God knows what other statuses of train. It was an epidemic of negativity and stress all around. In this dark abyss, I saw 2 men sitting on a makeshift seat and laughing and giggling like small kids. There was a sense of innocence and indifference to the world around them. One man was making hand actions and had brightening twinkle in his eye and the other person was concentrating on the hand actions of the opposite person. Eyebrows curled in amazement, eyes dilated with enthusiasm and mouth gaping with enthusiasm to hear the other person. And then both just laughed and smiled looking at each other. The smile was infectious as it got a twitch on my cheek bones. I approached closer like a moth to a fire. The continued conversing only with their hands and smiled endlessly. They didn’t belong to this world. 

They were in a parallel universe, 3^rd level of dream in inception or a cocoon of contentment. They were just involved in each other and smiling and talking and discussing random things, yet their faces shone with so much energy that I was exported out of Kurla station and into a world of smiles. Needless to say they were deaf and dumb, yet people around them including me seemed handicapped by stress, anxiety and depression.

I can argue that I have been happy too. But the relaxed demeanor, cheerful actions and radiance is something I find difficult to find. We are designed by our masters (Society, School, Bosses, Offices, Parents, etc) to look at bigger things in life for happiness. Rarely have I come across someone who tells us to find happiness in small and inconsequential things. Eating Ras malai when you see a tempting mithai shop, rush of feelings when we see your crush, standing on the railway platform to experience small drops of rain caressing your face, patting an office peon for mundane activities and see a smile on his face, talking to the Uber driver about his favorite spot in Mumbai, randomly buying a Mcdonalds burger for mom to see the childlike smile on her face, going on a walk with dad and talking about college days, treating your sister to a nice watch, getting your hair oiled from granny because that’s one of her favourite memories of your childhood, posting embarrassing pics of college days on the Whatsapp group of MBA friends, making a list of hotels and places to visit, having a wada pav from the local shop, hugging a friend, smiling at the Sodexo guy who cleans your office washroom, waiting in anticipation for playing Badminton and TT on the coming weekend and making small excuses to have food from favorite outlets. These are not big moments of happiness. But cumulatively they account to a whole lot of seconds to our lives. Amidst the worries and stress, these small moments of pure unadulterated and unconditional happiness are golden.

I have observed that we usually don’t remember the hours of worrying or fretting or stressing. These droplets of happiness are worth pursuing. 0.2bn seconds increased to 0.4bn seconds could change the way we look at our lives. There are enough problems and worries in the world. Let these small moments remind the beauty of life and motivate us to multiply these droplets of happiness. 

Pharell Williams’ song “Because I'm happy” plays along!!