Man’s Search of Meaning

First thoughts that come to mind with this title- Has Tushar lost it? Turned philosophical -maybe! IS he going through the mid-life crisis or simply he has too much of free time on hand. I cannot blame you for thinking that. The simple reason that we are ingrained with unrealistic ambitions and the ever-growing bubble of demands that we subject ourselves to that finding free time seems unrealistic. A recent visit to my native place (Karwar) seeded this thought in my mind which instigated me to document this. 

Karwar- a quaint town on the border of Karnataka and Goa. It used to be a haven for people who wanted to escape the tyranny of the Portuguese colonialism back in the day. My ancestors were one of these hoards of people leaving behind their motherland with the fear of getting religiously converted. One evening on the virgin beaches of Majali in Karwar, I sat on the white sands of the beach glaring into the crimson magenta sunset canvas in front of me and pondered on what went through the minds of my ancestors during that struggle. It might have been the slow breathing which activates your para sympathetic nervous system to relax your body and think more freely. The virality of these thoughts started multiplying in my mind. My ancestor’s actions were based purely on existential threat. The ‘Modi’ of my clan would have reacted to some stimuli and told the people to pack up and leave. Imagine uprooting your entire life in a night’s time and going in search of a place that is free of oppression, suitable for agriculture (the main sustenance means) and resource wise adequate. Unlike the luxuries of e-commerce, we have today, it must have been quite a struggle to establish a base. Many men and women’s life would have been dedicated to do this. Their meaning of life would have been simple: A peaceful life. 

Mr. Ram Master Dube

At this time of the year, we had all gathered at our native place for the annual celebrations of ‘Jatra’. This is the time we city dwellers with a hustling and bustling life choose to come here for the tranquility that this place offers. For some it is through the religious customs and for some it is the perception of slowing down of time. I belong to the latter. What this does to you is it gives you the opportunity to observe and assimilate things and not rush through with our urban military like training of running through life. In front of the village temple, there is a statue of my maternal great grandfather Mr. Ram Master Dube. He is considered a local hero here. The contributions of this man to the existence of the village have been immense. Since there is a part of his DNA in my blood, it would be fair to say that they would have activated some nerves in my brain associated with his stories passed on to us as children. Obviously, I don’t think scientifically is it possible but lets take that creative freedom. Mr. Dube had been instrumental in getting school, hospitals, post office and transportation system to our native place. Without which our parents and grandparents would not be where they are today. In fact, I choose to think that I would have probably been in shorts and shirt grazing cows in the field and probably mulling over village gossip. Now that is a visual that would tickle your funny bone. For a moment get into the mind of Mr. Dube. He would probably be thinking about how women died during childbirth, small children did not get opportunities because of lack of education, people walked kilometers for hours. “My ancestors got me to a safer place, but is this the impoverished life that we want to live?” I am sure that this probably would have been the thought process of many during that era. In all fairness, it was him who might have found the meaning of his life to strive and develop this place. The blood, sweat and tears sacrificed is the lifeline that our generations received. 

The renovated ancestral house on the right

With these thoughts of gratefulness and hearts full with the festivities, my family and I returned to our ancestral house. The thoughts’ of meaning of life of the villagers failed to elude my mind. Let me paint you a mental picture of the ancestral home. Nestled in the midst of coconut and betelnut trees, one can smell the aromas of burning wood and the seasonal flowers, one can see the clear blue skies intruded by the swaying of coconut trees, touch the cool soil moistened by monsoon rains, hear the birds chirping and the occasional train engine horn passing a kilometer away and taste the air so pure that it confuses the brain to distinguish between paradise and this ambience. The minutes do not feel like seconds anymore. The mind fails to react to this activation of senses. “Nirvana” some might call it. I call it my Happy place. Now imagine in this scenario, one has to open the laptop and start working since we city rats cannot get out of the rat race. 

The thoughts of my ancestors and Mr. Dube flood my mind and demand an explanation of this atrocious action of working that I start doing. I refute and claim that their meanings of life were based on existential things. The ‘laptop work’ is my existential meaning of life. My mind pauses and gives me a condescending expression – “Really? Is it existential”. So what is the true meaning of our lives? 

Meaning of life- At a biological level: its existence, at an evolution level- it is procreation and creating superior species. But at a human level: do I have my ancestor’s problems of living or Mr. Dube’s problems of survival or any other problem/ opportunity? My typical answer would be to deliver paradigm shifting marketing practices to create unparalleled value that would catapult me into a CXO life. “But why?”- retorts my mind. To create wealth and fame for myself? To be popular and be seen as a successful professional. Sure. Nothing wrong about this approach. There is no shame in wanting these things and designing one’s life trajectory in line with this aim. Then yet why does it not always feel fulfilling? 

The happy place

For better comprehension, an external reflection is the start to end this conundrum. Viktor Frankl in his book ‘Man’s search for meaning’ (Co-incidence with title of this blog is purely intentional) 😊 emphasized on the mental outlook of the Nazi prisoners. Their pursuit of finding meaning (however trivial) of their life gave them that every iota of energy to power through the mental and physical torture in the concentration camps. Scientists/ Researchers forage every ounce of the Universe to find answers and satiate their appetite of finding the meaning of their lives. Teachers dedicate their life building basic bricks of society foundations. Yet a considerable number of us struggle to find the answer to this elusive question. The fad today is to increase followers on social media or earn million dollars. Fame and wealth can never be the end points and yet they are valued the most in today’s world. 

The azure sky gets crimson, and the dark threatens to overpower as stars make their presence felt. The colour shades in the sky are mirroring these ominous thoughts in my mind. The mind trails into a dangerous bottomless chasm. The stillness in the scarcely lit streets is eerie but what is more frightening is the mental turmoil that ceases to forgo. Why is finding Meaning to Life so difficult. It is post 7p.m. and time to go for the festivities to the village center.

One thing that I can swear by is the atmosphere of these festivities in Karwar. The unshakable faith of my community in the rituals or this melting pot of people from different walks of life or just the fact that it is the land of ancestors that brings some equilibrium to my rebelling mind. You can witness the positivity of people from infant to octogenarian. There are engineers, teachers, CAs, homemakers, retired people and young ones who symbolize the demography of our generation and its complexities. These people are the lineage of the same forefathers who arrived at this exact same place a century ago. Over the years, these people have traversed their paths in search of their meaning of life. Some of them have achieved it and many of them continue the pursuit. This circle will continue forever. The path of intrinsic happiness is the key to finding meaning to life.  

The night of the festivities

The mind rests and cajoles itself that there is still time. To hunt the meaning to life is nor a sprint nor a marathon. It is way beyond it. It sometimes takes a lifetime and sometimes a matter of one single inspiring moment to set us on the path of happiness. I continue to forage it through the pastures of life.

Wishing all of you an amazing New year 2023!